My name is "Swine Flu" and I'm not embarrassed to say that

Thank goodness some people have come to their senses and re-established the fact that my name is not "H1N1," as the evil bastards in the meat industry and their political puppets, the World Health Organization, would have you believe. I am born of pig. I have pig genes. I am not ashamed of who I am, or where I come from. And if that hurts the pork industry, well, too bad. Check out this quote:

Another reason the U.S. government wants to ditch the swine label is that many people are afraid to eat pork, hurting the $97 billion U.S. pork industry. "Calling this swine flu, when to date there has been no connection between animals and humans, has the potential to cause confusion," Chris Novak, chief executive officer of the National Pork Board, said in a news release.

By "confusion," I guess what Pig Boy means is that people might start buying less pork. See, that's bad confusion. As opposed to good confusion, which is when you say that pork is "white meat," so that people will confuse pork, which is fatty and bad for you, with chicken, which is lean and good for you. Geddit? My friends, the whole thing is so lame. I mean, at a time like this, with the world in real danger, what are the craven fuckers in the U.S. government worrying about? They're worried about the pork industry. Also, who even knew that there was such a thing as the National Pork Board? And what on earth do they do? Oh wait. That's right. They put a friendly face on what would otherwise be called mass slaughter. Or genocide. Well, here is their website. Go check it out. Write them angry letters. Front page has a big press release about how they are joining the USDA and others in calling me "H1N1." Yeah. I'll bet you're "joining," since you're the ones who paid off the government to dream up this crazy name in the first place. They're also going correcting people who call me by my proper name, which I repeat, for the record, is "Swine Flu." Well, pork Nazis, good luck with that publicity campaign. Let me know how it works out for you. Meanwhile I'm going to get busy mutating my tiny little ass so I can stay a step ahead of the morons who are trying to stamp me out. Oh, and if you want to take a look at Chris Novak, the head of the Pork Board, go here.