Well my good friend Joe Biden has decided to break free of his handlers at the White House and take the truth straight to the people. Here he is last night getting the message out. Great work, Joe Biden! Folks, if you haven't stocked up on canned goods and bottled water yet, today is the day. Get on it.
Meanwhile, I'm wreaking havoc on the economy of Mexico. Spain is in pain. But the Philadelphia Inquirer says don't panic. (And they wonder why newspapers are all going out of business. Morons.) Obama called the president of Mexico to commiserate about Joe Biden going rogue. Oh, and the first flu patient, at the "ground zero" village in Mexico, says he doesn't want to talk to any more reporters. Apparently he's embarrassed by all the suspicious questions about how much quality time he'd been spending out on in the pig house right before he got sick. Juevon, you should be embarrassed. Watch this space for the full story on how I got out of a pig and slipped into this Mexican dude's bloodstream. And look -- I know what you're thinking. And yeah, you're on the right track. Talk about gross. I was there and saw the whole thing, and though I was happy to be breaking into the human bloodstream, I gotta tell you -- it kind of made me sick. And that's saying something.
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